cocoa butter & an electric blanket

im 27 in two weeks. i still feel 19 though, or something.. just a lil more jaded and easier to piss off. oh and also with 2 albums under my belt. you see, i finished the vocals to my second album tonight and caught a cab home in the cold and sat warm, feeling accomplished, watching the reflections of the colourful city lights on the wet pavement pass me by. im not sure how i feel now though. the house is quiet, my roomies are sleeping, i am alone and the cold is gripping the back of my neck, reminding me that im not really that comfortable. id settle for any kind of joyous acknowledgment right now. like a hug from someone that knows how difficult it has been to keep this afloat. like someone to crack a beer and cheers me. like some fool to high five me. instead i died my hair and spent too long in the shower. cascading hot water on a wintry night, is there anything more tempting?

now what

now i soak in cocoa butter and simmer down on an electric blanket. now i do my washing that has piled up in my neglect. now i go to that drs appointment. now i leave my life and go on tour with blue king brown for two months. south africa on tuesday..! now plutonic takes the reigns and sculpts the record into a masterpiece. cause he's a master. a fine man. a helpful and caring one. i meant, gangsta... ehemm

see what ive been learning lately, is it's not what you get out of people, it's the people you get son. the relationships you develop with people are the rewards. cause at the end of the day, like, especially midnight on sunday (the ultimate end of the day) if you aint got someone who loves you, you aint got shit.

so im sending my love out to all ya'll, cause no doubt thats the only thing that has kept me going with this, and here i am, 26 for another minute, with a couple of albums and a mexican wave of beautiful people around me. i just wish one was here right now.

night night